At Gordon & Perlut, LLC, we understand that parenting time exchanges can be one of the most emotionally charged parts of a divorce. When parents are in a high-conflict relationship, even a simple handoff can turn into a confrontation. Our goal as divorce attorneys is to help families reduce this tension and ensure that parenting time exchanges are handled safely and respectfully. We know from experience that consistent structure, clear communication, and thoughtful planning can prevent escalation and protect the well-being of your children. Illinois law supports this framework, and we use every legal tool available to support our clients through these difficult transitions.
Under the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act (750 ILCS 5/600 et seq.), courts are required to make decisions based on the best interests of the child. This includes how and where parenting time exchanges take place. In high-conflict situations, the court may implement specific conditions to reduce contact between the parents and minimize potential harm to the children. As your attorneys, we can petition the court to include detailed parenting time provisions that eliminate gray areas and protect everyone involved.
One of the most effective ways to manage high-conflict parenting situations is to have a well-defined parenting time schedule. Illinois law encourages clarity in parenting plans, which are typically included in the Allocation Judgment. According to 750 ILCS 5/602.10, the court may allocate parenting time based on a written agreement or, if parents cannot agree, enter a plan based on the child’s best interests.
When tensions are high, vague agreements invite conflict. We encourage our clients to include clear exchange times and locations, identify which parent is responsible for transportation, and determine how unexpected changes should be handled. When these details are already agreed upon and ordered by the court, there is less room for dispute.
In high-conflict cases, it is often wise to choose a neutral location for parenting time exchanges. This could be a public place such as a school, police station (which most Judges avoid if possible), or other designated safe zone. Illinois courts can require that parenting time exchanges occur in such settings to protect the children and parents.
We have also requested supervised exchanges or third-party facilitators where appropriate. These measures are especially useful when there is a history of domestic violence, emotional abuse, or police involvement. Under 750 ILCS 5/603.10, a court may impose restrictions on parenting time if it finds that unrestricted contact would seriously endanger the child’s physical, mental, moral, or emotional health. We can request that supervisors or neutral parties be appointed for exchanges to ensure safety and compliance.
Communication between parents during high-conflict divorces can lead to arguments, even during short interactions. Illinois courts have recognized the value of using technology such as parenting apps (like OurFamilyWizard or TalkingParents) to facilitate communication in a more structured, less volatile way. These tools create a digital record of messages and exchanges, which can be helpful if court intervention becomes necessary.
We often include language in parenting plans that limits communication to written formats or restricts in-person conversation to emergency matters only. This helps reduce misunderstandings and keeps exchanges focused solely on the children.
If parenting time exchanges continue to create conflict or present risks, the court can step in. Under 750 ILCS 5/610.5, either party may petition to modify the parenting time provisions of the Allocation Judgment if there is a substantial change in circumstances or if the modification is in the child’s best interests. We frequently assist clients in gathering evidence, documenting problems, and presenting their case to the court when a change is necessary.
Our role is to advocate for a safe, workable arrangement that supports your child’s needs and respects your legal rights as a parent. When the court is presented with a well-documented record of ongoing conflict, it has the authority to intervene and impose new conditions that can protect your family.
If the other parent refuses to follow the schedule, you can file a motion with the court asking for enforcement. The court may order makeup parenting time, modify the schedule, or impose penalties under 750 ILCS 5/607.5, which addresses interference with parenting time.
Yes. If there is concern for safety or past incidents of domestic violence or verbal abuse, the court can order supervised exchanges under 750 ILCS 5/603.10. A neutral third party or supervisor ensures that the exchange happens peacefully.
Not necessarily. If conflict is high, we often recommend that communication be kept to written messages only or through parenting apps. Courts can include language in your parenting plan limiting verbal communication during exchanges to emergencies only.
Police officers generally do not enforce civil parenting orders unless there is an immediate danger. However, some families arrange for exchanges at police stations, which can provide a safer environment and discourage confrontation, although Judges tend to avoid police stations if possible.
You are required to make your child available for court-ordered parenting time. If there is a serious issue behind your child’s resistance, it may be appropriate to seek a modification through the court. Do not unilaterally deny parenting time without a court order.
In high-conflict situations, having another adult present can help prevent disputes. We often recommend that exchanges take place with a witness or in a public location. Some parenting plans may specifically allow or restrict who can be present.
You can file a motion to modify the parenting plan under 750 ILCS 5/610.5. The court will consider whether the change is in the child’s best interest and whether circumstances have changed enough to justify the request.
While the court considers the child’s wishes depending on their age and maturity (750 ILCS 5/602.7), it is not the sole factor. The court’s primary focus is the child’s best interest, which may or may not align with their preferences.
Yes. A good parenting plan should include specific details about times, locations, transportation, and communication methods. This reduces future disputes and helps both parents know exactly what is expected.
Illinois is a two-party consent state, meaning both parties must agree to be recorded. However, video surveillance in public places (like parking lots or police stations) is often permitted. Always speak with an attorney before attempting to record exchanges.
At Gordon & Perlut, LLC, we know how difficult parenting time exchanges can be in a high-conflict divorce. Our attorneys work closely with clients to build parenting plans that minimize conflict, support your child’s well-being, and protect your legal rights. If you’re facing stressful exchanges or concerned about safety, we are ready to help you find solutions backed by Illinois law.
Contact our Chicago parenting time lawyers at our Chicago office at 312-360-0250 or our Skokie office at 847-329-0101 to arrange a free consultation. We represent clients throughout all of Illinois and are here to help your family move forward with greater peace and stability.