Four Things to Know About Divorce After a Long-Term Marriage

Gray Divorce is More Common in Remarriages

While more older adults are getting divorced than ever before, resulting in the use of the phrase “gray divorce,” that fact alone does not mean more long-term marriages are ending. Rather, according to the article, more seniors are getting divorced after their second or even third marriages. In other words, being remarried is one of the biggest factors for determining whether a couple is likely to get divorced an older age. The article explains that, “for those over 50, the rate of divorce for those who are in remarriages is 2.5 times higher than those in first marriages.”

Rates of Divorce Among Older Adults Are Still Lower Than Those of Younger Married Couples

These days, there are numerous articles and studies concerning “gray divorce.” The prevalence of those articles might suggest older adults are getting divorced at higher rates than people of other age groups. However, as the Psychology Today article points out, although the gray divorce rate has doubled over the last three decades, it is “still less common than divorce among those under 50.” Indeed, as of 2010, the rate of divorce for people over the age of 50 is only about 25 percent, which is still lower than national averages for all age groups.

Long-Term Marriages That End Often Show Problems Long Before the Divorce

When long-term marriages end, it is rare for the married couple to begin having problems much earlier in the relationship and remain married, despite those warning signs. The article explains that, often, “a festering resentment or issue unresolved for decades may be at the heart of a late-in-life divorce.” Many other couples in long-term marriages, especially those who got married when they were young, initially married to please family members.

The article in Psychology Today describes one couple that got divorced after a long-term marriage, yet recognized their marriage was founded largely on the fact that their parents had been friends and they shared the same religious faith. For that couple, there was no “emotional or intellectual” connection during the marriage.

Gray Divorce Trends: Why More Older Adults Are Splitting Up

In recent years, a compelling trend has emerged in the United States: an increase in divorce rates among older adults, commonly referred to as “gray divorce.” Despite an overall decline in divorce rates across the population, the number of individuals aged 50 and older choosing to dissolve their long-term marriages has more than doubled since the early 1990s. This evolving trend is not only reshaping the dynamics of long-term relationships but also sparking critical discussions about financial independence, emotional fulfillment, and the shifting norms in society.

The Rise of Gray Divorce

Gray divorce is defined as the separation of marriages among older individuals, primarily those in their 50s, 60s, and beyond. Alarmingly, research reveals that nearly 40% of all divorcing adults belong to this age group. While younger couples have seen a decrease in divorce rates, older adults are increasingly opting to end marriages that may have lasted for decades. Particularly notable is the significant rise in divorce rates among those aged 65 and older, with these figures tripling between 1990 and 2021, highlighting a dramatic shift in life choices in later years.

Why Are Older Adults Divorcing More?

A complex array of factors contributes to the growing prevalence of gray divorce:

Longer Life Expectancy

Many older adults now anticipate living into their 80s or 90s. This increased longevity fuels a desire for reassessment of personal relationships, leading many to seek a more fulfilling and rewarding partnership in their later years.

Financial Independence

The landscape of gender roles has transformed significantly, with more women enjoying financial stability and independence than in previous generations. This newfound autonomy empowers them to leave marriages that they find unfulfilling or detrimental to their well-being.

Changing Social Norms

Social stigma around divorce has diminished significantly over the years. Many older adults now feel a sense of liberation and empowerment to make life-altering decisions, including seeking a divorce.

Empty Nest Syndrome

As children grow up and leave home, couples may find themselves confronted with the reality that they have grown apart over the years. This transition can lead to an awakening of sorts, prompting individuals to reflect on their relationship and consider separation.

Personal Growth and New Beginnings

Individuals may feel a strong desire to explore new opportunities and cultivate new experiences. Rather than remaining in an unfulfilling marriage, many seek to embrace personal growth and forge new paths in their lives.

The Challenges of Gray Divorce

While divorce can be a source of liberation and newfound freedom, it also carries a unique set of challenges for older adults:

Financial Strain

The process of dividing assets, retirement funds, and pensions can be exceedingly complex and may have lasting effects on one’s financial security. Older adults must navigate these financial intricacies with care to maintain their stability and quality of life.

Social Adjustments

The emotional fallout from a divorce can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation. Many older adults may struggle to forge new social connections, especially if their social circles were predominantly tied to their marital relationships.

Health and Well-Being

The emotional toll associated with divorce can have significant implications on both mental and physical health. The stress of navigating this major life change can impact overall well-being, leading to anxiety or depression.

Legal Considerations

Following a divorce, important documents such as estate plans, wills, and healthcare directives may need to be revisited and updated, adding another layer of responsibility during an already challenging time.

Multiple Gray Divorces

An intriguing trend is emerging where some older individuals experience multiple gray divorces, meaning they have divorced more than once later in life. Research indicates that men are more likely than women to go through two or more divorces in their later years. Factors such as remarriage and evolving expectations regarding relationships contribute to this phenomenon.

Ultimately, gray divorce is redefining how older adults approach their relationships, independence, and quests for personal fulfillment. While it presents its challenges, it also opens the door to opportunities for growth and fresh beginnings. As societal norms continue to evolve, gray divorce is set to remain a significant trend in the U.S., profoundly influencing how individuals navigate love, life, and their aspirations in later stages of life.

Contact Our Chicago Divorce Attorneys

If you need assistance filing for divorce after a long-term marriage, our Chicago divorce attorneys can assist you. Contact Gordon & Perlut, LLC at 312-360-0250 to learn more about how we can help with your case. In order to ensure that you are on the best footing possible for your new start after a divorce, it is best to secure an experienced legal advocate for your side. The Chicago divorce attorneys at Gordon & Perlut, LLC have helped residents throughout the City of Chicago and the suburbs with these matters for years. No matter what the specifics of your own situation, our team can ensure that your interests are protected every step of the way.

(Updated 4/16/2025)