For many parents, the most emotional part of a divorce is not dividing property or resolving financial issues—it is determining how holidays will be shared with their children. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, birthdays, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and other special occasions are often deeply rooted in family traditions, making it difficult for parents to imagine spending those days apart from their children.
Fortunately, Illinois law encourages parents to create parenting plans that address holiday parenting time well in advance. A thoughtful holiday schedule can reduce conflict, provide consistency for children, and help parents avoid last-minute disagreements during some of the busiest times of the year.
Whether parents negotiate their own parenting plan or ask the court to resolve disputed issues, holiday parenting schedules should be designed around one guiding principle: the best interests of the child.
Many parents assume that their normal weekly parenting schedule will continue throughout the year. In reality, most Illinois parenting plans include a separate holiday schedule that takes priority over the regular parenting schedule whenever the two conflict.
For example, if one parent is scheduled to have parenting time every other weekend, but the other parent is entitled to Thanksgiving under the holiday schedule, the Thanksgiving schedule controls.
This approach allows families to maintain a predictable routine throughout the year while ensuring that major holidays are shared fairly.
Under the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act, parents are encouraged to work together to develop a Parenting Plan that addresses both parenting time and the allocation of parental responsibilities. If the agreement serves the child’s best interests, the court will generally approve it and incorporate it into the final judgment.
A comprehensive parenting plan should address far more than the regular weekly schedule. It should also include provisions for:
Addressing these issues early often prevents misunderstandings and reduces the likelihood of future disputes.
If parents cannot reach an agreement regarding holiday parenting time, the court will establish a schedule based on the child’s best interests.
Illinois courts consider numerous factors when allocating parenting time, including:
The court’s goal is to create a parenting schedule that promotes stability while allowing the child to maintain meaningful relationships with both parents whenever appropriate.
There is no single holiday schedule that works for every family. Instead, parenting plans are typically customized to meet each family’s circumstances.
One of the most common approaches is alternating holidays each year.
For example:
Alternating holidays allows both parents to spend important occasions with their children over time while maintaining a predictable schedule.
Not every family chooses to alternate every holiday.
Some parents prefer to split certain holidays each year. For example:
These arrangements often work well when parents live relatively close to one another and communicate effectively.
Many parenting plans include special provisions for family-centered holidays.
It is common for:
Children’s birthdays can be handled in several different ways. Some parents alternate the birthday each year, while others agree to celebrate together if they maintain a cooperative co-parenting relationship. Others divide the day so both parents can spend time with the child.
Parents may also include provisions for each parent’s birthday if they wish.
Families who observe religious holidays should specifically address them in their parenting plan.
For example, parents may alternate:
In some families, each parent consistently celebrates the religious holidays associated with that parent’s faith tradition. The flexibility of mediation and negotiated parenting plans allows parents to create schedules that reflect their family’s beliefs and customs.
Holiday schedules frequently extend beyond individual holidays.
Many parenting plans also address:
For three-day weekends, many parents agree that the parent who has the regular parenting weekend will also have the Monday holiday. Others choose to alternate those weekends each year.
Summer schedules often include extended vacation periods that allow each parent to travel with the children while providing advance notice of travel plans.
Yes. Parents are generally free to make temporary changes by mutual agreement.
For example, a parent may agree to switch Thanksgiving weekends because of work obligations, family travel, or a special event. These temporary agreements can provide flexibility without permanently changing the parenting plan.
Whenever possible, schedule changes should be confirmed in writing through email or text message to avoid misunderstandings later.
If parents repeatedly need different arrangements, it may be appropriate to formally modify the parenting plan through the court.
Holiday disagreements often arise because parents wait until the last minute to discuss travel or family gatherings.
Parents can avoid many disputes by planning well in advance and discussing:
Early communication gives both parents an opportunity to coordinate plans while minimizing stress for the children.
Children often experience additional emotions during the holidays after their parents separate. Maintaining predictable schedules and minimizing parental conflict can help children adjust more successfully.
Parents who place their children’s needs ahead of ongoing disagreements are often able to create traditions that allow the children to enjoy meaningful time with both sides of their family.
While no schedule is perfect, flexibility, communication, and careful planning can make holidays far less stressful for everyone involved.
Yes. In most Illinois parenting plans, the holiday schedule takes priority whenever it conflicts with the regular weekly parenting schedule.
Absolutely. Illinois encourages parents to negotiate parenting plans that meet their family’s unique needs. If the agreement serves the child’s best interests, the court will generally approve it.
Travel is often permitted if it complies with the parenting plan and any applicable court orders. Parents should provide advance notice whenever required and discuss travel plans as early as possible.
Yes. Parents may agree to temporary schedule changes, and substantial or long-term modifications can often be approved through the court when appropriate.
Developing a fair holiday parenting schedule requires careful planning and a focus on your child’s best interests. Whether you are negotiating a Parenting Plan during your divorce or seeking to modify an existing holiday schedule, experienced legal guidance can help you protect your parental rights while creating a workable arrangement for your family.
At Gordon & Perlut, LLC, we assist parents throughout Chicago, Skokie, Des Plaines, Cook County, and the surrounding communities with parenting plans, allocation of parental responsibilities, parenting time disputes, modifications, and other family law matters.
Contact Gordon & Perlut, LLC at our Chicago office at 312-360-0250 or call our Skokie office at 847-329-0101 to schedule a consultation with an experienced Chicago parenting time attorney and learn how we can help you develop a parenting plan that works for your family.
This article is intended for general informational purposes and does not constitute legal advice for any individual case.
