Divorce brings several changes to a family’s life, and talking to your children about it can be one of the most sensitive tasks you’ll face. Children often experience a range of emotions, including confusion, fear, or guilt. Therefore, it’s important that you address their feelings in a caring and thoughtful way that also helps them through this difficult time. Clear and compassionate communication during such transitions. Let’s now discuss a few practical tips on how to discuss your divorce with your children while considering the legal implications under Illinois law.
Understanding The Legal Framework In Illinois
Before starting the conversation, it’s helpful to understand how Illinois law addresses child-related issues during a divorce. The Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act (750 ILCS 5/) governs divorce proceedings, including matters related to parenting plans and the allocation of parental responsibilities.
Under 750 ILCS 5/602.10, parents are required to submit a parenting plan that outlines how they will share significant decision-making responsibilities and parenting time. Parenting plans should reflect the best interests of the child, as defined by 750 ILCS 5/602.7. For example, the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act considers the child’s emotional needs. That is why reinforcing your commitment to the best interests of your child is important. These statutes can also guide you in discussing future arrangements with your children.
Tips For Discussing Divorce With Your Children
- Plan the Conversation Together – It’s beneficial for both parents to talk to the children together if possible. Presenting a united front can provide a sense of stability. Before the discussion, agree on the key points to cover to avoid confusion or conflicting messages.
- Use Age-Appropriate Language – Tailor the conversation to suit your children’s ages and maturity levels. For instance, you might say, ‘Mom and Dad have decided to live in different houses, but we both still love you very much.’ younger children may need simple explanations, while older ones might require more detailed information. Be honest, but avoid sharing unnecessary details about marital conflicts.
- Reassure Them of Your Love – Emphasize that both parents will continue to love and support them. Make it clear that the divorce is not their fault. Under 750 ILCS 5/602.7, the law considers the child’s emotional needs, so reinforcing your commitment is important.
- Be Open to Questions – Encourage your children to express their feelings and ask questions. Listen attentively and answer honestly, keeping in mind the legal arrangements that might affect their daily lives.
- Explain the Changes Ahead – Discuss any immediate changes they can expect, such as living arrangements or school transitions. Referencing your proposed parenting plan under 750 ILCS 5/602.10 can provide clarity about how parenting time will be divided.
- Maintain Routine and Stability: Consistency is key to helping children feel secure during a divorce. Whenever possible, maintain their regular schedules and routines. This approach aligns with the child’s best interests standard in 750 ILCS 5/602.7, and it will reassure you that you are providing a stable environment for your children.
- Avoid Blame and Negative Remarks – Keep the conversation focused on the future rather than past conflicts. Negative comments about the other parent can harm your children’s well-being and may affect custody considerations under Illinois law.
- Seek Professional Support if Needed – If your children are struggling, it’s important to consider involving a child psychologist or counselor. Professional support can provide them with additional coping strategies and give you the reassurance that you are doing everything you can to support them during this difficult time.
We understand that discussing divorce with your children is a challenging and emotional task. Our team at Gordon & Perlut, LLC is here to support you through this difficult time. We are committed to helping you create a parenting plan that prioritizes your children’s well-being and complies with Illinois law.
Contact Our Chicago and Skokie Divorce Lawyers To Schedule A Consultation
If you need assistance or have questions about how to approach this conversation, we encourage you to reach out. Please contact our Skokie divorce lawyer at Gordon & Perlut, LLC by calling our Chicago office at 312-360-0250 or our Skokie office at 847-329-0101 to schedule a consultation. We represent clients throughout the Chicago Area from our office locations in Chicago and Skokie, Illinois. Together, we can work towards a solution that supports your family during this transition.
