As divorce attorneys who work closely with families across Illinois, we understand that the emotional toll of divorce often weighs just as heavily as the legal process itself. One of the most common feelings our clients experience is guilt—guilt about the end of the marriage, the impact on the children, or decisions made in the past. While divorce is a legal process, it’s also a deeply personal one. Learning how to manage these emotions in a healthy way can make a real difference as you move forward.
Guilt can cause hesitation in making necessary legal decisions, especially in matters like parenting time, property division, or support agreements. That’s why we encourage clients to take a thoughtful approach that balances legal responsibilities with emotional well-being. In Illinois, the courts focus on fairness and the best interests of the child, not blame. Understanding this framework can help you release some of the emotional weight you may be carrying.
Illinois is a no-fault divorce state. This means you don’t need to prove wrongdoing by your spouse to file for divorce. Under 750 ILCS 5/401(a), the only grounds for divorce are “irreconcilable differences.” This legal standard helps remove the need for assigning blame and allows both parties to focus on resolving issues constructively.
Many of our clients feel guilty simply because they initiated the divorce or because they worry about the effect on their children. We remind them that wanting a healthier, more stable environment for everyone involved is not something to feel ashamed of. A well-handled divorce can be better for children than a high-conflict marriage.
When children are involved, guilt can quickly become overwhelming. Parents often question whether they are doing enough or worry that their children will suffer emotionally. Under Illinois law (750 ILCS 5/602.5), parenting time is determined based on the child’s best interests, not the marital history. That allows both parents to remain involved in their children’s lives as long as it’s safe and appropriate.
We advise our clients to shift their focus from “what went wrong” to “what can I do right now to support my child.” Courts want parents to work together to create parenting plans that promote stability and cooperation. That forward-thinking mindset not only strengthens your case but also helps relieve guilt by turning emotional energy into positive action.
Sometimes guilt causes people to give up more than they should, whether that’s in property division, parenting time, or financial support. Under 750 ILCS 5/503, Illinois courts require an equitable—not necessarily equal—division of marital property. That means each spouse should receive a fair share based on contributions, earning capacity, and future needs.
When guilt clouds judgment, clients may feel pressured to “make things right” by giving in too easily. We’re here to remind you that fairness should guide these decisions, not guilt. The legal system is structured to support both parties moving forward with a secure future, not one person carrying the burden.
Divorce is not something you should face alone. In addition to legal counsel, we encourage clients to speak with counselors or therapists who can help them process feelings like guilt, anger, or anxiety. Emotional clarity leads to better legal decisions.
Our job is to guide you through the legal framework, but also to support your ability to make those decisions with confidence. Moving forward doesn’t mean forgetting the past—it means building a future based on clarity and fairness, both emotionally and legally.
While emotions can influence decision-making, property division in Illinois follows equitable distribution under 750 ILCS 5/503. Courts consider factors like income, contributions, and needs, not feelings of guilt. We encourage our clients to make practical decisions that support long-term stability.
Yes, guilt is a common emotion, especially if you initiated the process. However, Illinois divorce law does not assign fault. Choosing to end a marriage that no longer serves your well-being or that of your children is a valid and legal decision.
Children need consistency, communication, and love. Courts base parenting time decisions on what’s in the child’s best interest under 750 ILCS 5/602.5. By staying focused on their needs and maintaining stability, you can reduce guilt and build a strong co-parenting foundation.
You can waive spousal support, but we always recommend evaluating whether that decision supports your long-term well-being. Courts evaluate spousal maintenance under 750 ILCS 5/504, considering income, needs, and standard of living, not guilt. Make sure any waiver is based on sound financial planning.
If you’re struggling to make clear choices due to guilt, talk to your attorney and consider professional counseling. Legal guidance helps you stay focused on facts and goals. Emotional support helps you process the past so it doesn’t control your future.
Parenting time is determined by the child’s best interest, not marital behavior, unless it affects the child’s safety or welfare. The law encourages both parents to remain involved if possible. Your focus should be on building a consistent, safe routine for your child, not on past emotional mistakes.
Self-blame is common, but it often doesn’t reflect reality. Divorce is rarely the fault of one person. Accepting responsibility for your actions is different from blaming yourself for everything. Therapy, legal education, and thoughtful planning can help shift your mindset toward progress.
At Gordon & Perlut, LLC, we know how emotional divorce can be. We help clients across Illinois not only understand the law but also feel supported through the process. If guilt is affecting your ability to move forward or make fair decisions, let us guide you with clarity, compassion, and legal experience.
If you’re facing divorce, contact our Chicago divorce attorney at our Chicago office at 312-360-0250 or our Skokie office at 847-329-0101 to arrange a free consultation. We represent clients throughout all of Illinois, and we’re here to help you make strong, confident decisions for your future.