People get divorced for many reasons, but science shows some signs that accurately predict divorce. If you are experiencing some or all of the signs described below and considering divorce, speak to our divorce lawyers in Skokie at Gordon & Perlut, LLC, today.
Constructive criticism is fine in any relationship. For example, if you forget where your car keys are, your spouse may politely point out that putting your keys in the same place when you come home could solve the problem.
However, if the criticism is harmful and toxic, it is a sign of divorce. This type of criticism usually means turning a behavior that your spouse does not like and making it a negative statement about your character.
Suppose you habitually leave dirty dishes on the coffee table in front of the tv. Instead of pointing out that the behavior is messy and attracts insects, your partner might yell at you and say it shows what a slob you are. Of course, most of us provide this type of criticism at one point or another, but doing it regularly is a bad sign for the marriage’s health.
Contempt means a combination of disgust and anger. Showing contempt for your spouse is much worse than getting frustrated or negative. Being contemptuous suggests that your spouse is beneath you, which is unhealthy for any marriage.
For example, if your spouse thinks you are unintelligent because you do not know the type of seasoning to buy at the grocery store, this suggests that they think they are smarter and better than you are. If that attitude is communicated to you often, divorce is more likely.
Have you ever argued with your spouse when they said nothing and then started texting on their phone? This is a sign they have plenty to say, but not to you. This is stonewalling. It is shutting down the conversation and not communicating essential points that should be made positively.
Stonewalling can happen when fights get too acrimonious, and one party gets too angry or overwhelmed to communicate further. It may help to step away and take a breath when an argument gets heated. Then, the issue can be readdressed later when both sides are calmer.
This is when someone makes excuses without showing accountability for their actions. You can often avoid this issue if you take accountability for what your spouse is complaining about. Is what they are saying even 1% or 5% true? Then you should take accountability for that part and try to change the behavior.
If you notice some or all of these signs in your marriage, it does not necessarily mean divorce court is inevitable. However, you and your partner should address these issues directly and learn to communicate in a more positive and helpful way.
Divorce is one of the most gut-wrenching aspects of people’s lives, but sometimes it is necessary. Our divorce lawyers in Skokie at Gordon & Perlut, LLC, understand what you are going through and can help you achieve the best result in your divorce. Contact our Skokie divorce lawyers at 847-329-0101.