Why Divorce Isn’t Always a Bad Thing for Children

Why Divorce Isn’t Always a Bad Thing for Children

By: Gordon & Perlut, LLC

Getting a divorce in Illinois is difficult, but particularly so when there are children involved. As a parent, you worry about the impact it will have on them. Fortunately, divorce isn’t always a bad thing for children. Our experienced divorce lawyers in Chicago have seen firsthand how resilient they are in this situation and how ending a marriage can sometimes be better in the long run.

The Impact Of Marital Problems On Children

There are numerous reasons why marriages fail. Your relationship may have grown cold and distant over the years, you may have uncovered major differences in attitudes towards money or lifestyles, or there may be constant fighting between the two of you, as well as affairs or other types of marital misconduct. While getting a divorce in Illinois is painful, particularly for any children from your relationship, remaining together for their sake could have even greater negative impacts on them.

Some studies have shown that the conflict between parents is a major source of stress for children and can affect them both physically and cognitively. Common behaviors that are likely to be present in children of parents who are hostile to each other include:

• Increasing hostility to one or both parents
• Decline in academic performance at school
• Reluctance to engage in hobbies and extracurricular activities
• Acting out aggressively and getting into trouble with the law
• Experimenting with dangerous behaviors, such as alcohol, drugs, or sex
• Pulling away from friends and increased isolation, and depression

How To Help Children Through A Divorce In Illinois

Behaviors your children exhibited in response to marital stress are not likely to automatically disappear once you decide to get a divorce. Children may still have difficulty adjusting to changes in their home, their schedules, and the overall family dynamic. Ways you can help them through the process include:

• Being open and honest with them: Do not attempt to hide your problems from your children or the fact that you are getting a divorce, when the time is right. Better to be open and honest, explaining to them what is going on and what impacts they can expect. If possible, it is best if both parents (together) can sit down with their children and explain the situation, without blame.
• Avoid using them to vent: While you will want to acknowledge the fact that you are sad or angry over the situation, avoid using them to vent personal feelings about the situation or your spouse.
• Consider their needs in creating parenting plans: Under the Illinois divorce Statutes (750 ILCS 5/602.5), parenting plans can allow each party to remain active and involved in the child’s life. Consider your child’s needs in creating these plans, put aside your personal feelings towards your former partner, and respect the role they play in your child’s life.

Reach Out To Our Divorce Lawyer In Chicago Today

As a parent, one of your primary concerns in getting a divorce is ensuring your children are protected. At Gordon & Perlut, LLC., you can count on our Chicago divorce lawyer to provide the trusted legal guidance you need. Reach out and call or contact our office and request a free initial consultation today.

(4/17/2025)